Well, I think I should post more often, to take note of the happiness in my life before it all runs out or just in case I suddenly get into an accident and lose my memory or something, touch wood though. Currently using the new laptop after "sharing" with my older sist hers for 532498087109 years. I only have myself to blame cause I spoiled the old one. Oooooops. Anyway, I am using my hotspot from my phone, but da hell?! It has two connections now! Hopefully the other user don't download shit or do shit using my hotspot. Be grateful yo. Shall disconnect it soon, don't fee safe/secure.

So anyway, too many events happened in between the last time I've blogged to now. Some important ones like the annual inter-school wushu competition 2012, CCHY Cross country (my first and my last), CCHY fundraising bazaar, collection of certificates and shit. K, I've decided the only important shit is my competition, cause it'll most probably be my last though it's not the most meaningful one. No no, I have changed my mind, all the competitions throughout my entire life have been equally meaningful, except of course the 2nd year which I did not remember shit. LOL

And guess what? Surprisingly I did better in spear than sword. Haha! Always luckier in the events that I did not train much. I could have gotten gold for spear if I didn't make that two clumsy mistakes though. Aiya, no point crying over split milk. Oh well, actually I was very satisfied and super grateful for that silver already! Almost cried tears of joy LOL. To be honest, if I didn't make that mistake for not balancing well for my sword (dumbest thing ever, I even trained in the toilet beside the arena like 15 minutes before I enter -.-) I could have safely secured my silver. Got the same score as the girl who got silver. Luck not enough lah, time to do some good deeds to earn some good karma. As for the group events there was a last minute obstacle. Our dearest captain injured her right wrist a few days before the group event. What a nice combination for competition. We did survive and unexpectedly clinched a 4th for the quanshu group event. Honestly, we did not train much for quan, but I knew that we could not get anything for the weapon one cause of her injury and the number of schools competing. We attained that 4th is of real luck, I swear the girl did something to gain that super bad karma right smack in her face at the last second man. Maybe she was just too arrogant/complacent. I'll never know. :O

Okay okay, I will stop defaming anyone before anyone minus my good karma-points. Haha. Happy holidays to those who are not taking any important exams this year, good luck to those taking their MT paper tmr which includes my Daryl Peh! Time to sleep. Photos in instragram/facebook.


PS, I seem like I'm talking to a wall. Nevermind... In the meantine, hello future-me, I am not childish ok!

PPS, I think the amount of awards I have gotten this year is quite remarkable for a ordinary student like me. I am not any captain, head, monitress(?), or even a part of the Student Councillor/PSL but I've been awarded the OARS award! Pleasant surprise for me. Anyway, OARS stands for Outstanding All Rounder Student Award. *smug face* And also gotten the award for being in the Principal's list (top 5% of cohort), and silver for the stupid MSG expected grades or shit like that. LOL. Hopefully I can get my colours this year! I have yet to receive any notice that I am in. ): I've worked hard for a silver! Pray hard for me.

Do anything also wrong. Just by asking "must go uh? I want go out study de ley" nicely also kena scolded. Bathe for 10 mins only also kena scolded. Read book also kena scolded. Sigh.. I sometimes really wonder why will parents be biased? And somehow they seems to dislike me the most even when I'm the only one bringing good achievements back. Am I very disrespectful? If their replies to me are always nice and at least the say the words that make me feel good, would I give them attitude?

The others parents feel proud and attend the ceremony when their child gets receive the award. What bout me? They don't even ask what I'm getting. They don't even know only 2 students in the whole school is getting the award. They don't even ask where's the location and reject me immediately. A night, night. Is it that hard to sacrifice a night? Rush to meet me after work also cannot?

Maybe I'm just being too fucking paranoid. Haha

I feel like I'm a farmer's daughter. A farmer who only cares about his harvest instead of the process. Who only gave birth to have a slave rather than to "producing" life. I guess only by being their slave and provide them with a straight A results slip then they will truly be happy and proud of me.

Since young I've thought that my boyfriend will be my husband and we'll get married and live happily ever after. Guess I over looked too many Critical details that make up a happy couple/family. I was too naïve and innocent since this stupid theory of mine has been proven wrong since 3 years ago. LOL

Feeling troubled. I don't know what I'm troubled about, just troubled. Have a bad feeling. Why?

Sometimes I really doubt if my parents are really concern about me or just their "face". Meet the parents session today with Mr Lee. He accused me of saying that he saw me with some bad guy at khatib mrt last year. Omg, despite reassuring him umpteen times that the girl he saw wasn't me, my efforts had gone down the drain when he mentioned it to my mum today. He is overly-concerned as a form teacher. He takes things too seriously. Bet he'll have depression.

Guess what? My mum bought his story and she told my dad and he started accusing me at everything I say starting from today. I said I've training tmr which is normal cause tmr is a Tuesday and guess what he said in reply? He said are you really going to training? With the doubt and suspicious in his tone. I've lost their trust in me and it's not been very strong since I don't know when thus it is easily broken by that bit of false information.

It really tempts me to do badly for O level and show them what is it really like for me to not give a fucking damn about my studies like they did before my form-fucking-tcher brain washed them. I really have no clue what are they trying to display to me, caring parents? Stern parents? No fucking idea. I don't understand why they always choose to rely on others rather than their own daughters for their own sake. Happened to my sister and now history is gonna repeat itself. Wow why am I not surprised?

I doubt anyone can really understand me for this except for my older sister. Sick and tired of people with f.fantastic family/parents and taking them for granted. Good luck when karma smack you in your face.

PS. Oh FML. My sister also don't agree with me? Wow. What a family. Impressive :)

Spent 3 days in cchy's AVA room listening to Gary, Trina and Adam talking about their life stories, strategies for studying and motivating us! I was quite motivated but haiyah.. How? How to maintain those kind of lifestyle you tell me! Living under stress and shit! I was, I swear, was really motivated to plan out my study plan and follow it but now? Before doing anything already gonna give up T.T but I also wanna be successful!! So I've to start to change my beliefs and believe in the impossible! Afterwards it's time to take actions!

Easier said than done. Shall recap a little first by reading through the book they gave us. Nonetheless, the mind maps we did in the 3 days span gave me a sense of accomplishment! Kk, concentrate on competition first while struggling to be consistent in my studies bah! Prove everybody wrong! Go go hwaiting!!